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ShadowUmbreon
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PostSubject: Escavence   Thu Dec 13, 2007 5:21 am

I'll say the rate game ways xD
Rate: T

Chapter one
The war

Sawdins are the most powerful beings in the universe...that was until the Horde wiped them out from existence. But fortuned smiled on the Sawdins because they have sent a boy named Memorteke down on a planet called Earth.
Memorteke was then found by a male human named Bardock and a female human named Gale. A war was coming so Bardock and Gale had to teach him the art of fighting. He took education but didn't have alot of friends and he was a A-B student with the occasional C.
But then a few days later after vigorous training and education, a war started. It was the Alliance vs. the Horde. It seemed the Horde got the upperhand that Bardock, Memorteke's father said after bringing down an escape pod "son! I want you to take this pod and get out of here!". Memorteke hesitated a bit and then said to him "no! you are my father! I must protect you! I can't live without you!" But then a blast from a missle sent Memorteke flying into the escape pod and it took off. That was the last time he saw his father...


Last edited by on Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Thu Dec 13, 2007 5:23 am

Chapter 2
A Shady Character

A couple of hours later, Memorteke wakes up and blasts the door open, he comes out and gets on the floor whimpering. Then all of a sudden something was looking at him about in the trees. Memorteke stops wimpering and looks at the creature. ALthough he could barely see it. "Show yourself!" he screams at the creature. The creature comes out he looked a little like him. "I am what makes you pathetic." the organism says with a snicker.
"Hey who are you calling pathetic?!" Memorteke says with a little growl. Memorteke springs up and attempts to kick the guy's head. But, the guy dodged and stuck his nails, which grew long, into Memorteke's neck. Memorteke yelped as a mark that symbolized Phazon formed on the backside of his neck.
The guy snickered. "Just like I said, I am what makes you pathetic." the shady character walks away snickering and Memorteke falls to the ground cringing with fear.
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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Thu Dec 13, 2007 5:24 am

Chapter 3
Meptimus

While Memorteke was cringing by a tree, a guy, about his age steps up to Memorteke "are you alright?" the guy says. Memorteke looks up at the guy "Who are you?" Memorteke asks. "I am Meptimus, who might you be?" Meptimus says. Memorteke recognizes the name as one of his brothers "I am Memorteke, and I believe you are one of my lost brothers" Memorteke says happily. Meptimus smiles "Yes, I believe you are my lost brother too, my "dad" has talked about 2 of my brothers, Memortal and Memorteke. I saw Memortal but he ran away toward an island, then I heard screaming here so I hurried as fast as I can then I find you here."
"Well, should we get him?" Memorteke asks
"Hmm.. yeah I guess" Meptimus says
The two brothers then walk off toward Memortal's direction.
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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Thu Dec 13, 2007 5:26 am

Chapter 4
Camping

While Memorteke and Meptimus were walking, they came to a bridge. Memorteke looks at Meptimus "I am starting to think Memortal doesn't want us following him..." Memorteke says with worry. "Hmm... you want to camp out here for now, Memorteke?" Meptimus asks. Memorteke smiles "ok" he says.
After they got the tents up and a camp fire going, Meptimus says "well, I saw Memortal following a Jolteon so I was pretty confused. I am sure Memortal will be alright." Meptimus says a bit worried. Memorteke smiles "yeah he'll be alright"
"Yeah, I guess your right" Meptimus says still worried.
Memorteke looks out to the moon.
Meptimus looks at it too "hmm.. full moon today.."
Memorteke gets up "I sense something... something is watching us.." Memorteke says cautiously. A wolf jumps out of nowhere and runs to the bridge. The wolf then says "you need to get across this bridge? I could build it for you, I have to get across as well."
Memorteke nods, a bit attracted because hes a wolf as well "yes please, we are looking for Memortal. Can you tell us if you see him?"
The white wolf nods "sure" then she builds the bridge by waving her hand.
Memorteke gets astonished as the female wolf walks the bridge at inceredible speed.
Memorteke and Meptimus then crossed the bridge.

Thats all I'll be doing by now... ouch my hands hurt from doing 4 consecutive chapters...I need a break Sleep ....actually, I just copied and paste o.o lol! *runs*
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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:17 pm

Chapter 5
A short battle


Memorteke and Meptimus cross the bridge and they came across a dragon. The dragon looks at Memorteke and Memptimus and growls furiously. Memorteke looks at Meptimus then at the dragon. They both try to walk through but the dragon just knocks them away. It was a dragon about the size of a computer desk, with black scales and small white dots all over. He has sliver fluff on the end of his tail and black wings. He also has amber eyes. Memorteke stares at Meptimus. Meptimus stares back. They shrug and unleash a Ka-me-ha-me-ha wave at the dragon. The dragon falls on the ground, not geting back up. It was knocked out.

(yes, this happens to be Ryuuza, sorry for the spoiler ^^; )
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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:36 pm

Chapter 6

The Attack

Memorteke and Meptimus look at the dragon, shrugged and took off toward where Memortal went. After a few hours they saw a downed spaceship. "Wait here" Memorteke said to Meptimus as he approached the ship. Just then 3 alien-like creatures appear. Memorteke looks at them, surprised. What were they doing around the ship? Did they crash there? Before he can move, one of them slash at his chest. Memorteke was sent flying toward a tree and smashed into it. "Memorteke!" Meptimus screamed in horror. Then the horror turned into anger as his hand turned into a arm cannon, he fired at the 3 creatures and only two of them were taken out but one managed to survive so Meptimus finished it off with a strong backhand to the wall of the ship. Meptimus turned to Memorteke, he was knocked out.
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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Sun Dec 30, 2007 10:16 am

Chapter 7

A Rough Journey

(this is the "Memortal Saga" dunno what else to call it o.o; )

Mean while, Memortal is climbing a mountain then a few minutes later he spotted a black-furred absol. The absol stares at Memortal for a moment then runs up the mountain. Memortal thinks that the absol could probably tell him where he is so he chases it.
A few mintues have passed during the chase then he spotted a white wolf, a jolteon, and a dragon that looked like a lugia and a dragonite. Memortal stares at them in curiosity. Were they friends? or were they foes? Just then Memortal trips on a loose rock and tumbles down. Memortal trips in surprise then comes back to his senses after a few feet have passed. Memortal then regains ballance then is suddenly knocked out by the Jolteon. Memortal blacked out.

(well, now everyone is in it XD)
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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:10 am

Yayz! But my question is...Would Sparkle really do that? o_O

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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:25 am

*shrugs* I believe she would o.o
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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:35 am

Chapter 8

Ambush

A few hours later after the attack, Memortal wakes up, seeing the black-furred absol and the white wolf. Memortal slowly gets up, slightly dizzy and tries to make out what he is seeing; he is in a tent with two other mammals. His vision becomes clear and the black furred absol transformed. The white wolf starts speaking. "Who are you?" the wolf said with a stern look. Memortal stares at the wolf curiously and surprised it can talk "I was going to ask you the same thing..."
Memortal then holds his chest at where there was a blue cross sign on it. The girl noticed this happening "what is that?" she said. Memortal looks at his chest then at the girl "I..." but before Memortal could say the rest of the sentence 3 floating platforms appear and were holding strange looking human-like creatures. Barriers trap the lugia/dragonite hybrid and the jolteon. Unknown smoke knocks them out. Memortal looks at them then at the creatures. Memortal then gets furious and orders
the wolf and human to stay where they were. Fortunatly, they did and Memortal rushed toward the creatures....without thinking.
The creatures jump off the platforms then fired at Memortal but Memortal was quick enough to jump. When he jumped, he pulls out a kunai and it turns blue, so does the crystal on his chest. He stabs one on the neck and the creature falls over. Memortal lands and throws the kunai at another creatures head. It was a sucessful hit and the creature falls off the mountain after stumbling too much. Memortal stares at the last two with a serious face. The two creatures looked at each other before retreating back to the platforms but, Memortal doesn't let them get away that easily, he throws an explosive kunai at each platform causing them to explode making the two creatures to accidentally jump off the mountain, sharing the same fate with the second creature he killed. Memortal looks around before noticing the barriers on the jolteon and the lugia/dragonite hybrid go down. Memortal's mysterious crystal on his chest then stops glowing blue, the ambush was over...

(first big battle, lol)
Memortal turns to everyone then starts to feel dizzy...was the effect of corruption taking over? If so, he must've been in hypermode for too long. Memortal could hear the wolf saying, faintly "hey mister, are you alright?" Memortal felt like he was drugged, the world was spinning. He then gave up, and fell to the ground
(I forgot to add this part sorry ^^; )


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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Sat Jan 12, 2008 10:33 am

well, this is interesting. I was going to give you some advice, but that chapter 8 was what I wanted to see. If you add a bit of detail, things start coming "alive" and gets people really into it. I really like where it's going, so keep it up cheers
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PostSubject: Re: Escavence   Sat Jan 12, 2008 10:49 am

lol thanks, I am planning to add ditto's and your characters in it, but I am asking permission ^^;
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